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An Old Pilot 12/11/2009 An Old Pilot Ya think you have lived to be 85 and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell! An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of c 0 Comments, 99 Views, 0 Votes | |
Three Women 11/20/2009 THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OT 0 Comments, 110 Views, 0 Votes | |
Crisco 11/20/2009 A little old guy is walking around in a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crissssssscoooo!" Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, "Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3." The old gu 0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes | |
Dr Smith 11/14/2009 A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts. Dr Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!' She 0 Comments, 99 Views, 0 Votes | |
The Brothel 11/14/2009 Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling. 0 Comments, 99 Views, 0 Votes | |
Ouch! 11/7/2009 A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his "manhood" into th 0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes | |
The Redneck Filling station 11/7/2009 A gas station in Kentucky was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up". Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his 0 Comments, 102 Views, 0 Votes | |
The Drunk 11/7/2009 A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back anad forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches .. "Can I help you sir?" "Yessh ! Ssssomebody ssstole 0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes | |
The Drunk 10/16/2009 A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back anad forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches .. "Can I help you sir?" "Yessh ! Ssssomebody ssstole 0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes | |
Post-Op Sex! 10/16/2009 A young lady is in the hospital for an operation. She says, "Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again?" He says, "You know, Miss Stukowski, you 0 Comments, 118 Views, 0 Votes | |
Out House 4/6/2009 Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Pa, You need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse." 0 Comments, 141 Views, 0 Votes | |
Frozen Skunk 1/23/2009 A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was 0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes | |
Golf Ball's 12/20/2008 A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. 0 Comments, 158 Views, 0 Votes | |
Woodpeckers 12/19/2008 A Texas woodpecker and a New Mexico woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Texas woodpecker said Texas had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Ne 0 Comments, 126 Views, 0 Votes | |
Microwave Cooking 12/19/2008 What's the differance between microwave cooking and anal sex? Microwave cooking doesn't brown your meat! 0 Comments, 99 Views, 0 Votes | |
Beware-Another Blonde Joke 12/6/2008 A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing " That' s horrible! ! 0 Comments, 131 Views, 0 Votes | |
Little Fifefighter Girl 12/5/2008 A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the 0 Comments, 142 Views, 0 Votes | |
It Didn't Work 12/5/2008 The first old woman told the second old woman that sometimes she gets her husband excited at night by getting totally naked, lying in bed and putting both legs behind her head, yoga style. Th 0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes | |
Who said Lawyers are Mean? 11/29/2008 Who said Lawyers are mean? One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to 0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes | |
Thanksgiving Divorce 11/27/2008 THANKSGIVING DIVORCE A man in Phoenix calls his in New York two days before Thanksgiving and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; fort 0 Comments, 80 Views, 0 Votes | |
Game Warden 11/27/2008 A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?' The boy rep 0 Comments, 71 Views, 0 Votes | |
Why Men Have Better Friends 11/22/2008 Friendship Between Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at her girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best f 0 Comments, 91 Views, 0 Votes | |
Are You Insured? 11/22/2008 A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. "Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman 0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes | |
Growing Old 11/21/2008 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL.. YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE. MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM F 0 Comments, 85 Views, 0 Votes | |
Innocence is Priceless 11/21/2008 INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS One morning at church, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small Am 0 Comments, 60 Views, 0 Votes | |
Grandpa's On The Porch Again! 11/15/2008 GRANDPA'S ON THE PORCH AGAIN! A young man came to visit his grandparents one day, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, wit 0 Comments, 151 Views, 0 Votes | |
Prescription 11/15/2008 Prescription A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." < 0 Comments, 108 Views, 0 Votes | |
Shipwreck 11/14/2008 A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. 0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes | |
Bathtub Test 11/14/2008 The Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. 'Well, ' said the Direct 0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes | |
Getting Even! 3/1/2008 One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a 0 Comments, 97 Views, 0 Votes |
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